on a big mistake

everyone makes mistakes. i do too. but the one that sticks out the most is from my first year in university. i joined the debate team. with sheer lack of information, excessive belief in my abilities, and a huge crush on a guy who was on the team, i signed up. no other decision ravaged my nerves as much as that one.

i regretted it from minute one.

the debate was made up at its core of people who were primarily from the law faculty, and some super-intelligent economics and engineering students, with huge storage chips somehow transplanted into their brains. they could spout current affairs, history and expert analysis all at the same time—in a debater's tone, mind you. they would wag their hands, flash trump points, thump their fists or go low and dramatic. even their 'jokes' were so intelligent that you would have to know the 2nd clause of the 3rd article of the Geneva Convention to understand the pun.

so there i was, week after week. made to join a team, take up some silly topic, and then talk about it. standing there, all i felt was sheer terror. at one time, i imagined all the debators to have hideous fangs and claws that would suddenly appear and rip me apart for my lack of solid political opinion. it also made me understand the phrase—"have you for breakfast"—much better. and the most torturous part of all this—the debate sessions were held on saturday, which effectively meant burning up a significant part of my weekend for no worthwhile cause.

so i decided to leave the club. there was a lingering sense of feeling that i wasnt good enough to last out the challenge. but looking back, i wish i hadnt been so imtimidated. i could have had a good laugh at their pompous act— as i do now!